Tuesday, 12 June 2012

My dream car

I have owned a moto for all of 48 hours. And I have not yet crashed, died, or broken any (major) road rules.

Meet Stella.

She is the best. If you're questioning how she became known as Stella watch this:

And yes. I love childrens movies. Stop judging me.

One thing I have discovered since owning a moto is that I should never, ever drive in Australia again. I have become an Asian driver. Road rules are for sissies. Driving on the wrong side of the road is completely optional. And I even got waved through a red light by a policeman on the corner because red lights are really just suggestions.

Did I mentioned that rego / road tax costs only $1.15 per year? And people wonder why I love this place.

I have always said that my dream car would be a scooter. Dream come true.

I love Cambodia.

Monday, 4 June 2012

Politics in a Third World Nation

This weekend in Cambodia has been the local elections. The past two weeks has been a buzz of huge parades down the street lead by each party, party propaganda plastered on every street, and the quiet discontent of a people who know that their votes will count only as far as the government will allow them.

In being immersed in the lead-up to the election I was speaking with some local Khmer people about the election. I was asking whether the voting was fair, whether it was counted correctly. This was their response: "Cambodia is a very corrupt country. This election is no different".

One of the stranger things I stumbled across this week was a postal box on the corner of a busy road. It had a sign on it stating "Postal Box for Complaints About Corruption". Corruption can be seen here everywhere - it's blatant and everyone gets away with it.

Being here at this time has made me realise how blessed Australia and other Western nations are. I hear so many people (and I have been guilty of this too) complaining about political parties in power, badmouthing politicians they don't like, and having a sob-fest about our political situation. I don't want to make light of politics in the west... I just think we need to be counting our blessings.

We have the right to vote for who we want. Our votes are not coerced or forced. Our votes are counted properly. The party that the majority vote for is the party which actually gains the power.

It seems basic. However so many in the world do not have these simple privileges. So many are surrounded by so much corruption that it actually becomes normal, a regular part of life. This corruption infiltrates into every part of the society. This corruption becomes life.

So today I am remembering how blessed I am. I will remember that I had a hand in voting in the leaders in my country. I will hold onto the fact that my country has empowered me to have a say. I pray that the people in nations such as this will someday have that privilege too.

Sunday, 3 June 2012

Shouting without words

I've been sitting here for the past 30 minutes to try and muster up some inspiration for a blog post. Nothing. I decided that I don't have anything to say.

But then I realised I do. I have a lot to say. And as an introvert (and yes despite my ability to speak twice the speed of a normal person and my occasional loudness I am naturally incredibly shy) often the immense amount that I have to say is best said through writing. But often I don't say it. I keep it inside. Or I just talk to my journal about it. My journal never judges.

But today I started pondering why I do that. Why don't I share those things. Why don't I speak up. Multiple times in the past year I have been encouraged to find my voice and to trust my voice. That is some of the best advice I have ever received. To trust my voice means to give meaning and strength behind what I am saying. It is to trust that what I am saying is worth something. It is to believe that I have something worth hearing.

Sometimes I wonder if blogging is a narcissistic habit - expecting people to want to read my thoughts and ramblings. Expecting that my thoughts and words are worthy of peoples time. Sometimes I wonder where the line is between being confident in self and narcissistic. I think we're all a bit narcissistic actually, but that's a topic for another day.

So anyway back to the topic. Actually there is no topic so this post could really be going anywhere. Like into a forest with squirrels that ride along on your shoulder and chatter into your ear. Or into an underground cave full of glow-worms that wave their shiny little bums at you as if that's their favourite thing to do.

*and this is why the majority of my thoughts should stay in my head or in a journal or else one of these days people will realise that I'm actually nuts. But as my sister says insanity is way more fun than being normal.*

But seriously.  

I think I'm scared of judgement. I know I'm scared of judgement. I worry that no-one else thinks the way I do, that I am the anomaly in this world. I worry that if people see more of the inside of my head that I will become the outsider, that I won't be liked. To write, to speak, to trust my voice, is to be vulnerable. It is to say "this is me whether you like it or not". And following on, it is to be authentic in my actions, as words without actions mean absolutely nothing.

One of these days I will learn to use my voice. I already am learning. Sometimes my voice needs no words - sometimes it's just hugging the person that everyone else turned their eyes away from in judgement. But in whatever way I speak, through words, actions, blogs, I will always be passionate. Without passion life is sucked out of us. Without passion we are really just on a merry-go-round which isn't even moving. Without passion we stagnate. We die.

I will embrace my voice. One word at a time. I will turn my passion into words and actions. I will speak and shout, sometimes without even using words.