Saturday, 31 March 2012

I wish I'd never come to Cambodia...

Sometimes I wish I had never come to Cambodia that first time, never experienced what I had. Sometimes I wish I could be comfortable in my own little world, oblivious to the trials of a country such as this. Sometimes I wish I had never seen. For what is seen can never be unseen.

For Cambodia has taken a piece of my heart. It has captivated me, captured my heart.

Having seen, I have now moved across the world. It's not easy. I left behind friends, supports, family. I left behind my dog, my car, my favourite places. I left behind my world as I knew it.

Yet I couldn't have not come. I couldn't ignore Cambodia calling my name. Having seen Cambodia for the first time, I knew that I was meant to be here. I cannot walk away from that.

So sometimes I wish I'd never been here. Because some days I miss Australia, I miss my best friend, I miss late night chats with housemates, I miss great hugs. Having never come, I could have comfortably stayed there.

So at this time in my life I cannot imagine being back in Australia, living as I was. I can't imagine not being in Cambodia. I would feel like something was missing. I would feel like I was away from home.

My heart is here. My passion is here. And now I am here. Difficulties and trials. Homesickness and new experiences. Cambodia has stolen my heart.

1 comment:

  1. Hi, Lacey... Sounds like you are a child of two cultures now. You know where you've been and yet you are not there. You know where you are and this is not all you know and love. Cambodia has stolen your heart and yet you are inextricably linked to Australia as well. How does one hold this tension? Very interested to hear how things are going with you... Peace. Neville