Sometimes I wish I had never come to Cambodia that first time, never experienced what I had. Sometimes I wish I could be comfortable in my own little world, oblivious to the trials of a country such as this. Sometimes I wish I had never seen. For what is seen can never be unseen.
For Cambodia has taken a piece of my heart. It has captivated me, captured my heart.
Having seen, I have now moved across the world. It's not easy. I left behind friends, supports, family. I left behind my dog, my car, my favourite places. I left behind my world as I knew it.
Yet I couldn't have not come. I couldn't ignore Cambodia calling my name. Having seen Cambodia for the first time, I knew that I was meant to be here. I cannot walk away from that.
So sometimes I wish I'd never been here. Because some days I miss Australia, I miss my best friend, I miss late night chats with housemates, I miss great hugs. Having never come, I could have comfortably stayed there.
So at this time in my life I cannot imagine being back in Australia, living as I was. I can't imagine not being in Cambodia. I would feel like something was missing. I would feel like I was away from home.
My heart is here. My passion is here. And now I am here. Difficulties and trials. Homesickness and new experiences. Cambodia has stolen my heart.